Troy Conway '18 Receives Teppola prize for creative writing

by Exercise Science,

Troy Conway ‘18 was awarded the Teppola prize for his poem entitled Babysitter Wanted. This award was judged by nationally-recognized writers.

Congratulations Troy!


Poem:
Babysitter Wanted
By Troy Conway

No wonder we evolved from apes.
These kids are beating their chests
and scaling the stairs.
My vocabulary
contains a steady diet
of “Stop,” “Don’t touch that,” and “No.”
Only four more hours,
I motivate myself.
Lets play a board game
you little shits.
I walk in the musty closet door
and wipe away the death powder
that gathered atop the red box.
The word “Operation” poked
its head through the dust.
The children were finally contained,
sitting round like Kumbayah.
Dissecting a man
with more problems than myself.
“There’s a piece in his throat!”
“No shit, that’s the point of the game,”
I mumbled as I ventured the
Twittersphere. The monkeys
came and mauled my legs.
I tried to decipher their howls
when I looked and saw the tall one
twitching on the carpet.
I sprinted over
only to find him still and lifeless
on the jungle floor.